


ain't no shortcuts home

by dirty_diana



Category: Killjoys (TV)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Age Regression/De-Aging, Brothers, Cats, D'avin adopts a cat, D'avin is an excellent babysitter, Gen, Interplanetary Travel, Male-Female Friendship, Post-Season/Series 02, extravehicular activity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-08
Updated: 2017-06-08
Packaged: 2018-11-10 22:31:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11135985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dirty_diana/pseuds/dirty_diana
Summary: D'avin accidentally adopts a kitten. Dutch accidentally gets turned into a wary pre-teen girl. The Quad is on the brink of war, Johnny is still mourning his murdered lover, and the Jaqobis brothers are just trying to keep the chaos aboard Lucy under control.D'avin has no idea what he's doing. But that part is pretty normal.





	ain't no shortcuts home

**Author's Note:**

  * For [samyazaz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/samyazaz/gifts).



> I started this right when the Yuletide prompts went up and samyazaz' request caught my eye, but I just couldn't get it done in December. Better late than never, I hope. I was inspired by the mention of tropes, of liking S2 D'avin (yay!) and of personal choices, because I think that's a huge theme of the show.
> 
> Beta'd and cheerleaded by the best ever llaras. There are a couple of in-dialogue jokes early on, but I promise that nothing bad happens to the cat.

"Okay, I don't mean to alarm you, but D'av? I think your shirt is moving."

D'avin made a face at his brother as a tiny, fluffy, gray head emerged from the Y of the zipper on his jacket. Large green eyes stared curiously out, and Johnny stared back. The warm bundle wriggled against Davin's chest, but didn't seem unhappy. "Yeah, um. It wouldn't leave the dead guy, and I told Dutch she couldn't drown it?"

"Kittens don't belong on spaceships," Dutch said, and D'avin very carefully didn't start at the unexpected sound of her voice behind him as she strode up the boarding ramp behind him.

"Dutch wouldn't really drown a kitten," Johnny said, but he didn't sound entirely sure.

"Kittens don't belong on spaceships," Dutch repeated, firmly. "We'll give him away, first chance we get. Until then, you're cleaning up his shit."

"Her shit," D'avin corrected. He'd checked when they'd found her, but Dutch simply rolled her eyes before walking away.

John's face crinkled in amusement. "You know, ship cats are actually supposed to be good luck."

D'avin sighed, looking down at the kitten. It had been a hard day for her, he supposed. He'd spent the afternoon dodging tree limbs and chasing jakk-heads through the Leithian forest, and he kind of knew the feeling. "Yeah? I feel luckier already."

"What are you going to call her?" Johnny asked. He moved closer, coming face to face with the kitten and rubbing her head with one index finger.

"Call her?" D'avin repeated. "No, you heard Dutch. She's a temporary ship cat. Temporary cats don't need names."

"Whatever you say, man." Johnny was smiling a goofy, sideways grin at him as he petted the cat. D'avin would have objected to being laughed at, but his little brother didn't smile that often these days. "But I think you've been adopted."

A warm, damp sensation was starting to trickle down D'avin's belly. He grimaced. "Yeah. I think she's marking her territory right now."

The sound of Johnny's laughter followed D'avin into the shower. 

*

There hadn't been any cats on Telen that D'avin could remember. There had been dogs, both tame and wild. And grihyt, the fast-running animals that were native to the planet, half the size of the dogs but twice as vicious. They didn't hunt at night, usually, or come south of the ridge towards the town. But every night that summer the wind had whistled past the mouth of his cave, sounding like the searching cry of a hungry animal. D'avin still remembered shivering in that dark hole his dad had chased him into, awake nearly till dawn, fingers wrapped tightly around the biggest rock that he could hold.

The young cat's fur was a uniform soft grey. She had dark green eyes, and she couldn't have been more than a few months old. That was Lucy's best estimate, anyway. D'avin picked the kitten up off of the scale in Johnny's lab space, and sighed. This was so not his area of expertise.

"Any idea what kittens eat, Lucy?"

The ship directed him to packets of protein paste in the galley, lined up in identical silver tubes. He squeezed the content out into a dish, making a face as the strong, salty scent of it wafted up towards him. D'avin cradled the kitten in the crook of his left elbow, holding the dish in his other hand. "It's food. See?"

Huge eyes stared at him, before she pressed her nose curiously into the dish. D'avin watched her nibble reluctantly at the edges, and sighed. "Come on. At least we've got the good protein paste. Not that cheap garbage we had in the army. Couldn't even make a decent cup of soup out of that shit."

Was talking to an animal that couldn't talk back better or worse than talking to himself? D'avin wasn't sure. He did the latter a lot these days. Thought Johnny would definitely have something to say about it. 

"Don't tell, all right? You keep my secret, and I'll make sure Dutch doesn't try to boot any helpless kittens through the airlock. That's the deal."

The kitten nibbled again at the edges of the plate. Then she rubbed the top of her head against D'avin's shirt, grey tail waving. D'avin sighed.

He still wasn't planning to name her.

*

He made a small bed out of a pile of worn sweaters, and watched the kitten turn in circles before Lucy turned out the lights. For something so tiny, D'avin thought, the kitten's purring sounded like the rumble of an old space freighter.

*

Dutch avoided the cat as much as she could. It was hilarious at first, and then it was puzzling.

"Didn't you have pets when you were a kid?" he asked, as Dutch swerved across the deck, and then soundlessly cursed himself as his brain caught up with his thoughtless mouth.

She raised her eyebrows at him questioningly. "Not exactly, no. No pets in the royal harem. Did you?"

The kitten was chasing a target practice robot, the blue sphere whizzing through the air just out of reach of her paws. "We had a dog when I was little. He ran away. Dad wouldn't let us have another one."

Dutch actually looked interested at that. "Never found him again?"

"No. But I'm pretty sure Johnny's the one who let him out of the gate in the first place. Our parents could barely take care of us, let alone a dog, right?"

Their father had been furious, but he'd never figured it out. Could never see much though the haze of hokk anyway. D'avin had been seven. Johnny had been four. Too small, theoretically, to reach as high as the gate latch. 

 

The teachers at school had thought Johnny was dumb. He remembered everything easily, but mixed up his letters sometimes. They'd thought Johnny as stupid as his older brother, but he never had been.

*

"Congratulations, Jaqobis. When's the baby due?"

"It's not yours," D'avin answered shortly, then jumped as the swollen mass against his belly attempted to climb up his torso, her sharp claws digging into his skin. He sighed as he extricated the kitten from her makeshift sling carrier and held her in front of Fancy Lee's scowling face. "She keeps crying every time we try to leave her on the ship."

Fancy wrinkled his nose, studying the cat thoughtfully. "Probably too cold when you're not there. Cats like to be warm."

"Didn't know you were a cat expert."

Fancy ignored the dig, extending his index finger to the kitten's face. She licked the tip curiously, and then sneezed. "It's good luck, though. A ship cat."

"Yeah, that's what Johnny said. You here on a warrant?"

Fancy gave him a look, like he thought D'avin might be asking him questions just to annoy him. Though maybe it wasn't a look so much, just Fancy's usual face. The killjoy glanced behind him at Bellus' tent, then back towards D'avin. "Not really any other reason to come to this shithole."

D'avin sighed. It was a a rare cold day on Leith. Inside the climate-controlled bazaar, warm air rose to the roof and turned to damp fog, as drops of condensation formed on the domed ceiling. Harried sellers crowded the lanes, trying to press hot drinks and protective scarves on distracted, unhappy shoppers. "True words."

"I know. That's why I said them."

D'avin grit his teeth, and gently tightened his grip around the kitten that had started trying to wriggle out of his hold. Before D'avin could come up with a rude reply, Johnny interrupted. He waved as he exited Bellus' tent, then jumped back, narrowly missing a delivery cart as it sped carelessly by.

"Hey, Fancy." 

"John." Fancy turned to look at Johnny curiously. "I thought you'd vanished."

Johnny's greeting smile faded slightly. He shrugged, but the casual set of his shoulders didn't quite cover up the shadows passing over his face. "Yeah, well. I needed a vacation. But it turns out that this jerk can't manage without me."

"Never could," D'avin agreed. "Everything set?"

"Yep." The tent flap rustled again, releasing a fresh exhale of the earthy scent of Bellus' coffee. Dutch stepped forward, joining them. "All set, boys. We'll see you later, Fancy."

Fancy Lee raised a hand in acknowledgement, but he was already walking away.

From outside the dome a crack of thunder sounded, loud as if directly overhead. D'avin jumped as sharp claws scratched his palm, and then the kitten leapt to to the ground and ran. She was gone from sight in a flash, disappeared into the fog.

"Hells," D'avin swore. "You take the east side, I'll take west. Johnny can stay here in case she doubles back."

Dutch gave him an annoyed glance. "We're not keeping her, remember?"

Johnny rolled his eyes. "C'mon, Dutch. Of course we're keeping her. Lucy likes her. D'av, I'll take the east side. Dutch can stay here and look pretty."

Dutch shook her head, but she was smiling as both men broke into a run. "Always do!"

*

The first avenue in the bazaar that D'avin turned down was a maze of food sellers, and hot steam and sugary sweet scents wafted out of every open tent flap as he passed by. D'avin checked every warm corner and unattended food bin, but there was no sign of her. He probably looked like a crazy person, he thought, ducking his head down to ground level to check underneath tents and carts. He gestured to each vendor as he passed, holding his hands up to approximate size of a cat and pointing in the direction she had come from. Everyone simply shrugged, shaking their heads. At the corner stall, a cook extended her hands towards him, offering a steaming, fragrant bowl of soup.

He returned to Dutch a few minutes later, annoyed and empty-handed. Johnny arrived a moment later. Dutch raised her eyebrows scornfully at them both. "That furball outran both of you? Really?"

"Be fair. An old lady could run faster than Johnny."

Johnny made a rude motion towards his brother with his left hand. There was a rainbow of glitter streaking his jacket at the elbows, as if he'd been rummaging through the bins of one of the beauty shops that crowded the lanes to the north. "Didn't see you doing any better."

"Yeah." D'avin sighed. "Could Lucy track her?"

Johnny opened his mouth to answer, but Dutch quickly raised her hand to shut him up. D'avin turned in the direction of Dutch's gaze, and saw the kitten sitting in the entryway of a tent a few dozen paces away. He moved instinctively towards her, but was stopped by the soft impact of Dutch's hand against his chest. Her fingers tapped gently against his breastbone before she pulled away.

"No. I'll go. Then maybe we can get stop messing around and go do some actual work." 

Beside him, Johnny let out a low whoop of musement. "Go ahead, then. Show us how it's done."

*

Johnny and D'avin stood in the bazaar in silence, and long minutes passed before Johnny finally scratched his head. "Been a while."

D'avin nodded. "She'd call for help if she needed it, right?"

Johnny cocked an eyebrow at his older brother. "Dutch? Our Dutch? Not likely."

"You think we should go help?"

"You're the genius who adopted that wild animal. I think you should go--" The sentence trailed off, Johnny's eyes going distant as if he was listening to something from far away. "Yeah, go ahead, Lucy."

D'avin hadn't bothered digging his communication unit out from under his bed this morning. Johnny, though, was always plugged in to the ship that he loved. He left Johnny to finish his conversation, pushing his way through the narrow alley and entering the small tent into which Dutch and the kitten had vanished.

It took D'avin's eyes a few moments to adjust to the darkness inside. Only hard instinct caused him to turn at a small, rustling sound and duck away from the unexpected glint of light coming towards him. The fist he struck out with only found air. He aimed a kick in the same direction, and the heel of his boot made contact. There was less resistance than he expected, though, and his opponent went flying away from him with a small, high yelp. 

"Dutch?" he called out, cautiously. There was no answer, and D'avin's heart started racing, as he fumbled in his pockets for the small light that he always carried. "Dutch--what the hells?"

"D'av? Lucy says there's something weird about Dutch's vital signs. Her pulse and respiration are way too high, and Lucy can't get her to answer." Johnny entered the tent at a half-run, then came to an abrupt stop beside his brother. "Are you--"

"Seeing what you're seeing?" D'avin asked him. "Let's find out."

He inched towards the small figure crouching against the tent wall, her hand raised to protect her eyes from the thin ray of bright light pointed towards her. Aged eleven, D'avin guessed, or maybe twelve. Her green eyes were wary and haunted, but even on the much younger face they were unmistakably familiar.

D'avin was suddenly very glad that he hadn't drawn his weapon. He stood still, a few paces beyond arm's reach. The girl was still holding the knife clenched tightly in one fist. He knew better than to get too close. "Dutch?"

Dutch didn't answer. She wore the black shirt she'd worn this morning, and the same tactical pants. The pants were pulled tight to fit her slender waist, and rolled up at the ankles. She'd probably found the knife inside her boots, but she'd left the boots behind, and her tiny feet were bare on the damp earth. She stared mulishly at both of them, eyes darting back and forth between both men.

D'avin sighed. If Dutch didn't know either of them, then this was about to get messy. "Dutch. It's us." He pointed to his brother. Surely she would recognise his brother anywhere. "It's Johnny."

Johnny gave a cautious wave, but no familiarity sparked on Dutch's face. He crouched down, putting himself at Dutch's level, and D'avin watched them both carefully. John could defend himself, but he was too trusting sometimes. "Yalena?" Johnny asked.

Dutch started nervously at that name, and an expression of fear passed over her face. Her gaze shifted, glancing away towards the wedge of hazy daylight that marked the tent's entrance. 

"John!" D'avin warned, just a moment before Dutch made a break for it. She was fast, but Johnny's reach was greater. He grabbed her firmly by the shoulders, and held tight. 

D'avin caught up to them and moved to block her path as Dutch squirmed in Johnny's grasp. Her hair whipped angrily around her. D'avin took hold of her wrist as gently as he could, and forced the knife from her fingers. It fell to the ground with a light thump, as Dutch shot D'avin a dangerous glare.

D'avin kept his voice low as he toed the knife out of the girl's reach. "I know you don't recognise us right now, but we are your friends."

"Yeah." Johnny chuckled, acknowledging Dutch's barely contained eyeroll. "I wouldn't believe us either, but it's true."

"More importantly," D'avin told her quietly, "you're pretty far from home right now, Yalena. How do you expect to get anywhere with no joy, and no shoes?" He aimed his light pointedly at Dutch's exposed feet.

The girl took a deep breath before she spoke, her voice coming out in a cautious whisper. "Khlyen?"

D'avin kept his face as impassive as he could manage. "Khlyen's not here right now, kid. But he asked me to look after you, once. If you'll promise to come with us for a bit, I promise to do my best. All right?"

Dutch took a long time to think this over. D'avin and Johnny waited, then she nodded, just once. "Okay."

From somewhere deep in the tent, D'avin heard a soft meowing sound. D'avin swept his light into the furthest corners, but all he could see was a windowless metal chamber. It was slightly larger than the freezebox on Lucy, large enough to fit an adult person into. The door rested at an angle, slightly ajar.

Johnny frowned. "What the hell kind of creepy horror show business is this?"

D'avin shook his head. They'd made many trips to the bazaar, but he'd never noticed this place before. He swung the light back towards Dutch, who glowered at him. "We have a deal," he reminded her, throwing a warning signal in Johnny's direction, before moving in the direction of the plaintive cat sounds.

The door to the chamber swung open at a light touch, but there was no kitten inside. Just Dutch's discarded boots, sitting next to each other.

"D'av." 

"Don't worry. I'll be careful." D'avin knelt down, reaching into the space underneath the capsule where it stood on fat, cylindrical legs. 

"Not that you weren't charming when you were younger, but--"

"I was an asshole." D'avin grunted. "Most kids are. Here."

There was a yelp as his fingers brushed soft fur. The kitten shot out from underneath the chamber in a blur, barrelling straight into D'avin's midsection.

* 

Johnny carried the recaptured kitten back to the ship, tucking her under his jacket with only a little grumbling. D'avin carried Yalena in one arm and her discarded boots in the other, marching through the crowded bazaar and staring down anyone who glanced their way.

*

Back on the ship, Yalena's mood was wary and subdued. She sat silently and obediently, her legs dangling from Johnny's worktable while Lucy ran scans. D'avin couldn't begin read the expression on her young face to guess what she was thinking.

He locked the cat in his room, ignoring her quiet whimpering. She'd caused enough trouble for one day. 

"I'm gonna leave you to it. Go do some recon."

His brother didn't look up, waving D'avin off as he stared at his readouts. There was a worried knot forming between his brows as he worked. 

D'avin didn't kid himself. Johnny had been gone for months, but he had come back for Dutch. Because Dutch always needed him. And if Johnny couldn't fix this, D'avin had no idea what would happen next.

*

The tent was exactly as they had left it, dark and empty. D'avin shivered as he entered. His light, flashed along the dirt floor, revealed the same three sets of footprints they had left behind. D'avin captured all the data he could, following Lucy's instructions exactly and receiving only a terse thank you in return.

"It's not my fault," D'avin muttered to the spaceship. "We're gonna get her back, okay?"

Lucy pretended not to be listening, and D'avin gave up. Outside the tent, the alley was a dead end leading only to the thick bazaar dome. D'avin made two careful circuits of the tent's perimeter before he noticed the young boy laughing at him.

The child's clothes were dirty but serviceable enough, a thin scarf wrapped around his neck to protect him from the day's damp weather. The son of a nearby vendor, D'avin guessed. He appeared younger than Yalena, young enough to be years away from being pressed into service in the mines or the hokk fields. Old enough enough to be in school, but Company law didn't particularly care about truancy. D'avin didn't, either.

D'avin caught the boy staring openly and winked dramatically, setting off a fresh fit of high-pitched giggles. D'avin waited for the peals to subside, then crooked the fingers on his left hand, calling him over.

No, the boy didn't know who owned the tent. No one had seen anyone come out of there in months. Years, he swore. D'avin wasn't sure how good the young boy's sense of time was, and he let the detail pass. Whoever owned this place hadn't been here in forever, and D'avin didn't have forever to wait.

*

"What do you know?" D'avin asked.

He'd brought back three foil containers of noodles from the bazaar. Dutch sat at the table, devouring the contents of one with a fork and a scowl.

"She's twelve. Healthy. Little bit malnourished, but that's about it. I don't know of any tech that could do this. Lucy can't find anything on the Net."

D'avin took a moment to quietly brace himself before he asked his next question. "It can't be time travel, right? Dutch isn't somewhere awful, waiting for us to find her?"

"No!" Johnny answered, then exhaled a dismayed breath. "Time travel is a complete impossibility. It contradicts everything we know about space and time."

D'avin raised his eyebrows. "And this doesn't."

"Fuck, I don't know, D'av." Johnny rubbed the back of his neck in frustration. "I don't fucking know. I've sent a message to some friends who know a lot about impossible tech and shady shit. Might take a few days, though."

Johnny sighed again, gesturing to Dutch, who sat twirling the last of her dinner on the tines of her fork. The fork probably wasn't sharp enough to stab anyone with, D'avin thought, but he watched her closely just in case. "What do you think we should do in the meantime?"

D'avin shrugged. Usually Johnny was the optimistic one, and D'avin didn't have much practice at being reassuring. "Just what we're doing now, I guess. We'll figure something out."

*

He couldn't help second-guessing the decision to show Yalena into Dutch's room. But Dutch wasn't sentimental, and she didn't exactly fill her space with belongings from childhood. Or with her weapons, which were currently stored in the cargo bay. Johnny had checked, and declared the coast clear.

Yalena stood at the door, facing him with ramrod straight posture. "This is our bedroom?"

"It's yours," D'avin answered, trying not to flinch at the question, and smiling slightly at the reaction of surprise on her face. "Yeah, just you. Enjoy the luxury."

To his surprise, Yalena's face screwed up unhappily at that, and there was only a few seconds of warning before she burst into tears.

"Whoa, hey. What's the matter?"

It was a stupid question, he realised belatedly, and Yalena looked at him through wet eyes with all the scorn he probably deserved. "You have to take me home."

"I wish I could, Yalena." It wasn't the truth. But the truth wasn't going to help right now. D'avin would have done anything to keep Dutch away from the horror show she'd lived, but there wasn't anything that he could do in the here and now. He stood helplessly in the doorway.

She was still crying. It was equal parts desperation and manipulation, as wide, tear-stained eyes watched him carefully for his reaction. D'avin reached out and wiped her face with the edge of his sleeve. "It's not that simple. Honestly, Yalena. We'll talk about it in the morning, okay?"

"But--"

"But sleep. Nothing's going to happen before the morning, so you might as well get some rest. You'll feel better." 

Yalena rubbed at her eyes, trying to swallow her silent sobs. "Okay."

D'avin watched as Yalena entered, and the bedroom door slid closed. Hoping that he was right, and things would make more sense in the morning. At the least, they probably couldn't get much weirder.

*

He wasn't sure how long the yelling had been going on when he awoke to the noise outside his room. He recognised Johnny's voice, raised in frustration over a shrill, insistent string of words.

D'avin grunted as he rolled reluctantly out of his warm bed, dodging the yawning kitten stretched across his pillow. He pulled on the nearest pair of pants, retrieved his gun from beneath a pile of dirty clothes, and left his room to trace the commotion.

Johnny and Yalena were still arguing when D'avin climbed up the ladder into the cockpit. Yalena retreated as far as she could behind the co-pilot's chair, her eyes widening at the sight of his weapon, but she didn't lose the stony, defiant tilt to her shoulders and chin.

"Someone tells me what's going on here. Right now." 

Lucy was the one who finally answered. "I have been broadcasting a repeating message to an unknown subspace code."

D'avin blinked. "Thank you, ship. Now tell me why the fuck you're you doing that?"

"Dutch requested--"

"She's not Dutch!" Johnny interrupted, and in the ensuing peeved silence, he sighed. "It's okay, Lucy. We'll work on that."

"Well, can we stop broadcasting our location to unknown randoms in the meantime?"

"I did that already," Johnny said. "What she won't do is tell me is who the code belongs to."

D'avin glanced back at his brother, with a sinking feeling growing in the pit of his stomach. "There's only one person it could belong to."

From the worried look on Johnny's face, he had come to the same conclusion. "That right, Yalena? Were you trying to contact Khlyen?"

"He'll come for me. I'm the second daughter of Family Yardeen." The imperious note to her voice was contradicted by the way her voice shook. "You can't keep me here."

"Yalena. Look. What year is it?"

Yalena gave Johnny a funny glance, but answered the question. First in a calendar D'avin didn't recognise, then in Standard Interplanetary Years. 

They'd known Dutch had lost close to twenty years of time, but it still made D'avin wince, to hear the numbers out loud. He and Johnny had decided the day before not to bombard Yalena with information she wouldn't understand. But that wasn't working, and it was obviously time for a new strategy. D'avin drew back, lowering his gun, as Johnny's explanation continued in low, patient tones. 

*

"How long were we broadcasting?" D'avin asked, as he re-entered the cockpit.

Johnny was turned away, studying the displays lit up across Lucy's dashboard. The glow threw eerie shadows across his face. "Not too long. About fifteen minutes."

D'avin had already marched Yalena to her room, but he lowered his voice just in case. Little ears, his mom always said. "But there's no one on the other end of that message, right? Khlyen's dead."

"Doesn't matter. The receiver for that code could be anywhere."

"It's a twenty year old code. The receiver might have been destroyed a long time ago. Maybe we'll get lucky."

Johnny turned towards him, eyes creasing with a tired smile. "Yeah, that famous Jaqobis luck. Always comes through."

"Like a bad infection," D'avin agreed with a grin, and then he sighed. "This isn't going to work if the ship keeps taking orders from mini Dutch. Can't Lucy, I don't know. Use her own judgement?"

"She does that, D'av. But she's an AI. She doesn't exactly have people judgement."

"Thank you, John," the ship replied primly.

*

He returned to his bedroom to find the kitten cheerfully shredding the blanket that hung off his bed. D'avin dodged a swipe of sharp claws as he picked her up with both hands. 

Yalena looked up in surprise as the door to Dutch's room slid open, and D'avin tossed a yowling, unhappy kitten inside. The girl stepped back in alarm. 

"It's a cat, kid. Not a bomb."

"Wh--" Yalena began, then stopped herself, swallowing hard. "I am waiting for my punishment. This is a present."

"Oh, she's not a present, trust me. You two troublemaking little shits can keep each other company in here while my brother and I sort out the mess you caused."

Yalena considered that for a moment. Her gaze contemplated the kitten, watching as the animal carefully sniffed the new, strange space, and then her focus returned to D'avin. Cool eyes stared at him, brimming with suspicion. "Time travel doesn't exist. This is a test."

D'avin raised an eyebrow at her. "You asking me, or telling me?"

"It is a test," Yalena repeated, more firmly. "You do not want to punish me, but Khlyen will. He will be unhappy if I fail."

"Yeah? I got the impression he's unhappy all the time. Not everything in life is a test, kid."

"You keep calling me that," Yalena pointed out, eyebrows knitting together in consternation. "I'm not a kid."

This was shaping up to be the most depressing conversation D'avin had ever had with Dutch, and there had been a lot of contenders. D'avin turned to go, but Yalena's voice called him back. 

"What is its name?"

"She doesn't have a name," D'avin answered.

"Everyone has a name. And everything."

"So come up with something," D'avin suggested. He left her staring thoughtfully at the kitten, who lay on her back on the floor, curled into a ball with her tail waving happily in the air.

*

Johnny spent the rest of the morning in the cockpit, antsy as he watched the displays. Space was crowded over Leith, mostly with the long-distance cargo ships that hauled hokk beyond the Quad and beyond the J. There were a few transport ships, too, for those that could afford the fare. Those that couldn't found other ways, like the entertainment ship Dutch and Johnny had pulled him off months ago.

War was coming to the Quad. Unsteady ceasefires had been broken, the Nine were scrambling and afraid, and now it was only a matter of time. D'avin could feel it. People were gathering up their families and getting the hells out if they could. Like animals from a burning barn.

Johnny's low, muttered questions were being answered by Lucy in a string of peeps and whistles. D'avin clapped a hand on Johnny's shoulder as he entered the cockpit. Johnny raised a hand to greet him.

"Anything?" D'avin asked.

"No return message so far. But maybe they just don't want to RSVP."

"Surprise guests are the worst."

"Yep. No manners. How's our little princess?"

"Sulking." D'avin shrugged, frowning. "You think she really misses Khlyen? He was a dick."

Johnny didn't answer right away. He'd been doing that a lot lately, D'avin had noticed. Turning thoughts over before he spoke. If D'avin missed his quick, smart-mouthed brother, maybe that guy wasn't coming back.

"I missed mom," he admitted finally. "When she died. She'd been so fucking useless our whole lives, but then she was gone, and it was like I didn't even recognise what I was feeling."

And he'd been alone, without his older brother. That part went unsaid. 

"I'm sorry," D'avin began, but Johnny shook off the apology as he kept talking.

"Khlyen was an asshole. But maybe it's hard to know the difference when that's all you've got." Johnny inhaled a sharp, hard breath. The hand that was draped across Johnny's knee clenched slowly into a fist. D'avin could feel the same frustration tightening his own chest, but it didn't matter anymore. Khlyen was gone, and all of this had happened a long time ago. 

*

Yalena was excused from her room for dinner. She came to the table when called, sourly refusing to make eye contact with either Jaqobis. At her feet she was trailed by a familiar grey shadow.

"You've made a friend, huh?" Johnny asked.

Yalena's features widened briefly in alarm at the question, then hardened, in a mask of distaste. "No," she answered firmly. "I don't like her."

"She seems to like you," Johnny pointed out, watching as the cat sat obediently at Yalena's feet, accepting protein paste from her outstretched fingers.

Yalena shrugged. Young Dutch wasn't nearly as good an actor as Grownup Dutch, and her eyes betrayed her, flickering worriedly to the kitten and back again. "Whatever. I don't care. So you don't have to take her away."

D'avin and Johnny glanced uncertainly at each other. Johnny finally waved a hand, indicating he thought they should let the subject go, and D'avin followed his lead. "Did you name her yet?" he asked.

"Yes." The wary expression on Yalena's face indicated that she thought this might be another unannounced test. "You told me to."

D'avin waited, but Yalena had gone quiet. "Well?" he asked finally. "What's her name?"

"Ilyse." Yalena looked from brother to brother, frowning disapprovingly at the blank stares that she received. "It's from a book."

D'avin shrugged. "Sorry. Didn't do a whole lot of the school thing."

"Or his own homework. Ever." Johnny slid his brother an amused glance.

"Least I wasn't constantly in trouble for taking apart the pads," D'avin shot back.

"Hey, the insides were just as interesting. What's the story about, Yalena?"

"A girl whose family is betrayed and killed," Yalena explained. Her voice was clear and confident, now that they were on a topic she was sure of. "She escapes to a nearby planet and disguises herself as a commoner. When she grows up, she falls in love with a handsome farmer."

"As long as there's a happy ending," Johnny said, in a fake-bright tone. 

Yalena shook her head. "That's not the ending. That's the middle. At the end she organises the farm workers together, and they return to the first planet and kill everyone who resists."

D'avin and Johnny were both silent for an uncomfortable moment.

"Well," D'avin said. "Nothing wrong with a little revenge, I guess."

"It isn't a story of revenge. It's a story of survival. That's what my tutor says." Yalena picked up the bowl of food in front of her, sniffing it carefully before reaching for her fork. "You would know that too, if you'd read the book."

*

"You're shitting me."

"Nope." Johnny shook the freezing rainwater out of his hair as Lucy drew up the cargo bay door behind him. It was still cold and stormy on Leith. Johnny stomped in cirlces, shaking the mud off his boots. "Bellus won't let us cancel or postpone the warrant. She told me, and this is a quote by the way. _Sort it out and get out fuck out of my office_."

D'avin cracked a smile at Johnny's gruff impression. "You didn't tell her, though, right?"

"What, that Dutch is," Johnny gestured with one hand at waist height, "you know? Of course I didn't tell her. Dutch wouldn't exactly want that information getting around."

"True. At least she can't kick your ass at this size."

Johnny snorted. "Wouldn't bet joy on that one."

D'avin sighed. "I thought Bellus liked you?"

"'Course she likes me." Johnny made a face at him. "Everybody likes me. She's just stressed. She's got warrants that need filling and the RAC in this sector isn't exactly operating with a full set of agents right now."

Leave it to Johnny to try to see Bellus' point of view even when he was getting yelled at. D'avin rolled his eyes. "Yeah, the smart ones are getting the hells out. Which begs the question. What are we still doing here?"

"Filling a warrant, it looks like. Just the two of us. It'll be fun, right?"

"It'll be a cakewalk," D'avin answered confidently, then frowned. "What is a cakewalk, anyway?"

"Dunno. Maybe it's like a spacewalk?"

"Ugh." D'avin shuddered. "Hope not. I fucking hate spacewalks."

"You're such a wimp," Johnny informed him, laughing.

*

"I've never even heard of that part of space," D'avin said, squinting at the map that Lucy was displaying. The upper left quadrant, empty of moons and planets, blinked insistently in purple.

"Yeah," Johnny said. "That's how the bad guys like it. Unclaimed space, plenty of asteroid cover, and lots of space stations where they can trade their funky black market shit."

D'avin frowned at him suspiciously. "You sound excited."

"What?" Johnny's eyes widened in faux-innocence. "What. No. This is business. I have it on good authority this is where our guy is going to be in a few days. It's his best bet for unloading that stolen tobacco."

"Okay." D'avin nodded. "It's a date, then. We'll get there, lay hands, bring this asshole back to Leith, then go to Bellus and collect our joy. Easy as pie."

"I hate pie," Johnny complained.

D'avin grinned. "I remember."

*

Yalena was the quietest twelve year old D'avin had ever met. Not that he'd met a lot of twelve year olds, actually, but he knew he'd been one, once. Life with the raging storm cloud that had been his dad had trained him to an stillness D'avin knew he'd never quite shaken. But he'd never been as quiet as this.

Johnny had found Yalena an old reader pad and loaded it with classic novels from around the J. Half of the books weren't even written in modern Standard, but Yalena didn't seem to be having any trouble. Now she sat on the floor of the cargo bay with the pad on her lap, pretending not to watch D'avin as he stripped his favourite weapon, checking each part was functioning and verifying the plasma charges. He'd been at it for half an hour, and in that time Yalena hadn't said a word.

Ilyse was chasing shadows in the corner, ignoring them both.

"You're probably wondering why I bother with this shit," D'avin said. A good ship or station AI could run diagnostics on hundreds of weapons in a fraction of the time. Not the same as doing it yourself, though.

Yalena looked up, resting her hands against her knees. "My tutor says vigilance is the most necessary virtue. I should trust nothing and no one."

"Sounds like good advice." D'avin kept his tone carefully noncommittal. "For some of the time. Probably doesn't work all of the time."

Yalena looked unconvinced, but she didn't respond.

"Sometimes you need help, and then you'd have to trust someone, right? I know you don't trust me yet. But I trust you."

"You don't even know me."

There was nothing helpful D'avin could say to that. He gently fished a firing charge out of the rifle in his hands, placing it on the testing station and frowning at the blinking light. 

"Do you want to play a game?"

Yalena put her pad down on the deck, and sighed impatiently.

"You're right, I don't mean a game. I mean a test. Not that I think you need a test, because I trust you. You're going to pass with flying colours."

D'avin's cheerful tone must have slid towards condescending, because Yalena scowled. "I'm not a kid," she reminded him.

"You're right. My bad. Just, I've got something to do tomorrow. I'll need someone to look after Johnny while I'm gone."

Yalena's face scrunched unhappily as she considered the request, and D'avin bit back a smile at the now familiar sight. Her face would get stuck like that, if she wasn't careful. "John is a grownup."

"Yep."

"So why can't he take care of himself?"

"Well, he thinks he can," D'avin admitted. "And sometimes he'd be right, but sometimes he's wrong." And maybe having a task would prevent the small assassin from trying to escape while John's attention was occupied. D'avin didn't mention that part of his reasoning.

"Sounds like you're just worried about him," Yalena said doubtfully.

"I'm always worried about him. But I'll worry less if I know you're keeping an eye on him. Okay?"

Yalena hesitated, then nodded. If she thought this request was yet another test, she didn't mention it, lapsing instead into an idle silence.

"You know how to use an Essen rifle?" He picked the thread of conversation at random, hoping against hope that the answer was no.

Yalena shook her head. "My tutor won't allow it until I get older."

Huh. Score one point for Khlyen.

"He says rifles are for the weak and lazy," Yalena added.

Okay, half a point. "Exactly. Perfect for me."

She giggled at the bad joke, then shut her mouth abruptly, as if surprised by the sound of her own laughter. "You're weird," Yalena told him.

"Yup," D'avin agreed, smiling at her.

*

"You sure about this?"

"Yes, I'm sure." Inside D'avin's EVA helmet, Johnny's voice reverberated tinnily. "Warrant's flying a Korinz. Panther class. Smuggler ship. Those are notorious for having sensor blindspots. It's basically a trade off for being fast as fuck."

"I thought you said Lucy could outrun him," D'avin said, frowning.

"Didn't say outrun. I said outsmart."

"Johnny, listen to me. For all intents and purposes, you are going to be alone on the ship. You can't let Lucy get boarded."

"It'll be fine, D'av," Johnny said patiently. "You just worry about your part."

"Trying not to," D'avin muttered. The airlock had been slowly depressurizing for almost fifteen minutes now, and even through his space suit D'avin could feel the cold. He gritted his teeth against a small shiver. "Didn't I tell you I hate spacewalks?"

"Yeah, about that. I thought you were Airborne division."

D'avin rolled his eyes. "We didn't do jumps from outside of atmosphere, Johnny. That's movie shit." He sighed. "I really wish Dutch wasn't indisposed right now."

"So she could do your part of the mission?" Johnny asked.

"So she could come up with a better plan. You sure you'll be able to get their attention?"

"Brother, you are seriously underestimating my ability to piss off burly, angry men with large necks."

"Never."

Johnny's laughter was a warm, cracking sound over the comms. "Once we get into it he'll be getting ready to accelerate, so try not to miss your mark."

"Or I'll be floating alone in the cold vacuum of space until I die," D'avin said. "Got it."

"It'll be fine," Johnny told him again. "Lucy will guide you through it. Here we go."

Silence stretched uneasily by, and then the airlock doors slid open. D'avin floated out into the unending darkness.

*

The army had been full of menial extra-vehicular tasks, usually given out as punishment. D'avin had done most of them, and hated them all. He tried not to think too hard about it, or count the seconds that he spent unmoored between ships. He bumped gently against the hull of the smuggler ship, grabbing onto the tether bar that framed the airlock door, and slapping his free hand flush against it. The small, round device John had attached to his space suit anchored itself instantly to the hull plating and began to work.

"Please wait," Lucy instructed him. 

"Like I've got a choice," he muttered, but it was a mercifully short time before the door opened and he tumbled into the relative safety of the smuggling ship. There was no light but the faint glow from his helmet, illuminating the small patch of deck beneath him as he landed face-first. The airlock closed behind him. The floor tilted, suddenly, vibrating as the ship began to gather sub-light speed. D'avin tried to steady himself against the movement with both hands, but too late.

"Six minutes and twenty-four seconds to full repressurisation," Lucy announced in his ear. "Please stand by."

D'avin groaned. He gingerly flexed his left shoulder, where he'd hit the wall when flung by the movement of the ship. That was definitely going to hurt later. He wrapped his fingers firmly around the gun that was harnessed by hooks to his EVA suit, and tensed as he crouched into a defensive position. "Thanks, Lucy," he whispered. "Good work so far."

"You are welcome," Lucy responded, and D'avin grinned. The ship still didn't like him that much, but he was working on it.

Four minutes crawled by. D'avin could hear air whistling through the vents as the space filled with oxygen. He focused on readying himself, pulling in long, even breaths as he called to mind the ship schematics that Johnny had shown him. The cargo bay would be directly ahead of him, the cockpit on the upper deck. D'avin counted down the seconds to himself.

"Uh oh." Lucy broke the silence.

"Uh oh?" he repeated, incredulously. "What the fuck does that mean?"

"D'avin, the airlock will be opening immediately."

"Whoa, hold on. What was all that shit John told me? About pressure sickness? And--"

Lucy interrupted him with a second warning. "Prepare to defend yourself."

When the doors to the darkened cargo hold broke open, there were only two guards beyond. They were both young and uncoordinated, with shock at his sudden appearance evident on both their faces. 

D'avin left his sidearm at his waist, and lunged forward. A roundhouse kick sent the first guard falling backwards, tumbling headfirst over crates and hitting the floor with a crunching sound. The second raised his rifle, with panicky, shaking hands. D'avin was faster, grabbing the barrel and swinging it away from him with a violent jerk. The guard fought back with a solid hook punch. D'avin dodged, but barely, the blow catching him on his jaw as he wove away.

D'avin twisted and thrust forward in a fresh attack. He swung the rifle butt-first, contacting squarely with the young guard's head. He stood in front of D'avin, swaying slightly from the impact, and then dropped to the deck like a falling stack of bricks.

D'avin restrained both men as quickly as he could, then headed towards the ladder that led to the ship's upper deck.

*

He found the main subject of the warrant in the cockpit, with his hands curled into fists and pressed angrily against the controls. He was a pale, stout man, but his whole face was flushed purple-red, contorted venomously with anger in the worst case of road rage D'avin had ever seen. D'avin entered the cabin with his weapon drawn. The sound of Johnny's voice that had been background noise through his communication unit suddenly surrounded him in full stereo.

"Nice try, jackass," Johnny was saying. The smuggler growled, cursing in a language D'avin didn't recognise. He inched forward until the nozzle of his gun was flush with the smuggler's reddened cheek. The man jumped, whirling around to stare at him in confusion. John kept talking, his voice low with amused satisfaction. "No, actually, it was a shitty try. You've been locked and served."

*

Once handcuffed, the smuggler quickly followed his men into the hold. D'avin didn't bother to ease him down the ladder, but pressed the heel of his hand to the back of the man's neck and gave an ungentle shove. 

When the string of curses shouted up from the hold had finally ceased, Johnny was speaking urgently to him.

"D'avin, we got a debris field ahead. Looks like the remains of a space fight that nobody won. You gotta change course right now. That ship gets any closer and that's an electrostatic well you might not be able to break free of."

"Um." D'avin looked blankly at the array of controls in front of him. "You know this is not my best area. Lucy?"

"I'm afraid I only have access to the auxiliary controls," Lucy told him apologetically. "Navigation remains manual."

"You know how to fly Lucy. You can do it, D'av. Throttle should be on your right. Directionals on the left. Just start by slowing her down, then you'll have all the time in the world."

D'avin stared through the viewing window. The debris field loomed ahead, crackling with unreleased energy. "Yeah, okay. Here goes nothing."

He placed both hands on the controls. Only hesitant pressure at first, then more firm as the engines began to respond. D'avin was flying blind. There was no way to clearly see ahead. Even the ship's sensor data was obscured by the crackling swarm of energy in its path. Johnny's voice was calm as he directed a hard turn to the starboard side.

It was like manipulating the green plasma, D'avin thought. Except instead of messy goo, he had two thousand tons of rocket engines under his control. His field of vision began to clear as he skirted the debris. Slowly but surely, the ship moved to put the obstacle behind him, and the mess of floating junk gave way to a clear canvas of stars. Directly ahead floated Lucy, just as if she'd been waiting, and D'avin grinned. It was the most beautiful view he'd had all day.

*

"I'm just saying," Johnny continued, across the comm unit. "It would be a shame to just abandon the ship to salvagers."

"Nope."

"Especially since we were here first. If anyone is going to appropriate stuff from that expensive engine room, it should be us."

"No," D'avin repeated. Then sighed, drumming his fingers impatiently inside his suit. Like most ships used to transport illegal goods, the smuggler ship had an airlock to airlock transfer module. Johnny had brought Lucy abreast of the second ship in a maneuver of showy precision, but D'avin was pretty sure he was going to get old and die waiting for the transfer module to fully deploy. He stood in the cargo bay, listening to the clank and whir of gears beyond the airlock gates. "We've got the smuggler, and eight crates of stolen tobacco. We've filled the warrant, and we're getting out of here. Know how to quit while you're ahead, Johnny."

"Dutch would have done it," John complained, but he didn't sound particularly unhappy.

"You know she wouldn't."

"She might have. But speaking of Dutch, do you have any idea what's up with her?" Johnny lowered his voice, until it was just a whisper in D'avin's ear. "She's just been staring at me since you left. And carrying that cat around. I think she's still worried we're going to take it away."

"Not a clue," D'avin lied easily. "Just staring at you, huh? That's weird."

Soft mechanical chimes trilled an alert. "Transfer module ready," Lucy announced. In the background, on the edges of D'avin's hearing, Ilyse meowed softly.

*

That night he slept restlessly, and dreamed vivid, mixed-up dreams. In his slumber he was floating through space, his body turning end over end like an acrobat doing cartwheels. Then he was aboard an army medic ship, and Yaeger was there, frowning at him with calculating eyes. "You're a good soldier," dream-Yaeger said, as the scalpel in her hands made a thousand tiny incisions in his arm.

D'avin woke up abruptly, and found Ilyse sitting on his blankets, swiping insistently at his arm. "Ow," D'avin complained, rubbing his bicep, but none of the scratches had broken skin.

When he looked up again, he saw Yalena just beyond the bed. She was sitting on the floor, staring at him. "Ilyse was scratching at the door," she informed him, with cool eyes. "I think she missed you."

D'avin smiled, watching as the kitten walked unsteadily down the length of his arm and then rubbed her head against D'avin's upturned palm.

"You can have her back?" The words were half-question, half-statement, her pre-teen voice rising uncertainly.

D'avin shook his head. "Nah. You're doing a great job looking after her. And she seems like she's happy. She likes you."

"But my tutor says--" Yalena began.

"Maybe your tutor doesn't know everything," D'avin said, interrupting her. Yalena flinched at his flash of temper, and D'avin took a breath, forcing himself to change the subject before he said things about Khlyen that the girl wasn't ready to hear. "Thanks for looking after Johnny yesterday."

"You're welcome." Yalena shrugged. "It was pretty easy. He just yelled a lot, and talked to the ship. I think he was worried about you too."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Should I have offered to help look after you too? I would have, but I didn't think he would let me go over to the other ship." There was a scowl on her face, but D'avin had no idea whether it was Johnny's decisions that she was questioning, or her own.

"You did great, Yalena," D'avin promised her.

"Thanks. It must be pretty cool to have a brother around."

D'avin rubbed his eyes. This conversation was turning too deep to be having first thing in the morning. "It's--yeah, it is. Sometimes we get on each other's nerves. But Johnny's always got my back."

She nodded. Her fingers traced an abstract pattern across the floor. "I wish I could have stayed with my brothers."

Brothers couldn't save you from everything. Sometimes they could hardly manage to save themselves. But there wasn't any reason to tell Yalena that, or ruin her fantasy. "You've got me and Johnny," D'avin pointed out. "That's almost as good, right?"

"I guess," Yalena agreed, hesitantly. Then she brightened, as her young mind caught on a different topic. "Was it cool being outside of the ship?"

D'avin grinned at her. He could say it kind of had been, now that he was safely back inside Lucy. "Yeah. It was way cool."

*

The sun was finally shining on the Leith Bazaar. If Bellus wondered why D'avin had shown up alone to collect their bounty, she didn't ask.

"I've got a fresh warrant for you, if you're interested. Old Town. Take you five minutes, then you'll be back here collecting joy. Easy."

D'avin frowned. Bellus must really have been desperate. She knew they didn't take warrants in Old Town right now. It was the last place that Johnny wanted to be, and D'avin couldn't blame him. "No, thanks. We're actually going to be, uh. Taking a vacation."

"Vacation," Bellus repeated flatly. D'avin couldn't shake the uncomfortable feeling that she could see right through him.

"Yeah, you know. Dutch just thinks we should take a break. Short. A short break. We'll be back before you know it."

Belluus sighed heavily. "It's a bad time, Jaqobis. And not looking to get any better. Tell Dutch not to stay away too long."

D'avin nodded agreement and left the tent as fast as he could.

*

When he got back to the ship, Johnny was alone in the cargo bay. D'avin immediately looked around for signs of trouble, but there were none. From just beyond the cargo, he could hear Yalena's voice cooing something unintelligible to the cat.

D'avin walked across the deck, and sat down next to Johnny on an empty stool. Johnny was staring off into space, a wrench sitting idle in his hands.

"Hey." D'avin bumped Johnny gently with his shoulder. "You okay?"

Johnny looked up, offering a lukewarm smile. "Just thought I'd give the kid some space. I think I make her nervous."

"Don't be ridiculous. You're Dutch's favorite person."

"Now I am, sure. But she didn't like me very much to begin with. Did she ever tell you she almost shot me?"

"She told me you deserved it," D'avin answered, reaching out to punch his brother lightly on the arm. "You were trying to steal her ship."

"Yeah." Johnny smiled faintly at the memory. "Then I told her we should just fly away together. Pretty sure she thought I was crazy."

"You are crazy," D'avin answered, but he was smiling. "It's one of your best qualities."

"Well, there's an endorsement. Wonder if I could put it down on my next job application."

"You've never filled out a real job application in your life," D'avin pointed out, and Johnny flipped him the bird. Then he sighed, as the laughter subsided.

"Look, D'avin. know I was gone for a while."

"109 days. Lucy counted."

Johnny nodded, taking a breath, his voice turning serious. "Yeah, okay. There's just something I've been wondering about.You didn't sleep with Dutch while I was away, right?"

"Johnny."

"I'm serious!" Johnny protested. "Because everyone's seemed a little off since I got back. And the only thing that would make sense if you boned her. I mean, again."

D'avin couldn't help making a face. "Johnny, honestly. Can we not talk about that while she's still mini sized?"

"D'av, your refusal to answer the question is not giving me confidence here."

"Johnny, for fuck's sake. For the record, I didn't bone her. Pretty sure that ship sailed off to nowhere a long time ago. And we missed you." D'avin paused, looking at him. "You don't have to say you missed us too."

Johnny blinked lazily at him. "Wasn't going to."

D'avin laughed. "You're an asshole."

"Yeah. I did come back, though." 

"That you did," D'avin agreed. Johnny clapped him on the back, his hand resting comfortably for a moment on the back of D'avin's neck.

*

"Where are we going?" Yalena looked worried. She'd never been allowed to leave the ship before. D'avin had expected her to be excited, but instead her uncertainty was becoming contagious.

"To meet a friend of a friend of Johnny's. She thinks her friend can help us," D'avin told her, for the tenth time.

"You mean, help me get back to the past." Yalena's words were heavy with scepticism.

"Uh, I'm not sure it's going to work exactly like that. But that's what we're going to find out."

"Why can't her friend come here?"

D'avin had been wondering the same thing, but Johnny had brushed off his concern. "Clara and her friends, they can be a bit paranoid. You want me to send a message back and ask her?"

Forget it, D'avin had said, but he was rethinking that now as Yalena paced worried circles on the frosty ground ahead of Lucy's docking ramp. He'd bought her shoes that fit on his last trip to the bazaar, and she was wearing a them now, along with gloves, and a hat underneath which she'd tucked her braids. The biting wind picked up, and Yalena tucked her hands into her pockets with an unhappy pout.

Even though it was deserted now, D'avin hated coming to Arkyn. The place still gave him the creeps, for a million different reasons.

"Can we take Ilyse? She doesn't like being alone." Yalena turned to Johnny, who was just coming down the ramp.

"Think it's a little too cold out for her, Yala. Lucy's going to keep her warm, okay?" Johnny glanced over at D'avin, casting a critical eye at the rifle D'avin had slung over his chest. He'd packed extra ammunition as well, stuffing his pockets full. "Is that a hundred percent necessary?"

D'avin shrugged stubbornly. "Yup."

Johnny sighed. "Okay, then. Let's go."

*

There was only one man waiting at the entrance to the Arkyn facility. D'avin relaxed slightly, and Johnny called out a greeting as they approached.

"Are you Clara's friend? I'm John Jaqobis. This is my brother, D'avin. And this is Dutch."

He gestured to Yalena, who stepped forward nervously. "Hello," she said politely.

The man nodded. He was short, D'avin noticed, with broad shoulders, and thick eyebrows that gave his face the impression of a permanent scowl. Eyebrows' face was cragged from sun exposure, and his mouth barely moved as he spoke "The girl will have to come with me."

"Come with you for what, exactly?" Johnny asked. "Clara didn't give us too many details."

Eyebrows seemed to flounder for just an instant. Then grabbed Yalena, fingers digging into her shoulder and twisting her arm as he yanked her towards him. Yalena screamed.

"Whoa, hey." Johnny spread his hands wide in a gesture of peace. "Everybody calm down."

"The queen requests the child," the man insisted. "She must come with me."

"What fucking queen? You mean Aneela?"

D'avin raised his rifle. He never got a shot off, or saw where the knife came from. There was a blur of motion, and then the man was crumpling to the ground. There was a knife stuck into his abdomen, hilt deep. Yalena screamed again, and then she was running back towards the ship, her small feet moving quickly over the rocky ground.

Eyebrows drew a difficult breath, thick fingers clutching at the wound. Yalena had angled the knife upwards, underneath the rib cage. Aimed to kill. But Eyebrows drew the knife from his belly, looking D'avin right in the eye, and D'avin could see the wet stain of green that dripped from the knife tossed into the snow.

He acted as quickly as he could. Imagined the plasma circuiting the man's body, pumping through his heart, and squeezed. The man's mouth opened, shock passing over his face. Then he fell to the ground, dead.

*

"Should we, uh, dispose of him?" Johnny asked, gesturing to the body and grimacing. The plasma-covered knife lay at his feet.

"What's the point?" D'avin asked. "When he doesn't come back, Aneela will know it was us."

"I'm really not looking forward to meeting that bitch."

D'avin nodded agreement. They walked side by side, towards the silhouette of Lucy looming over the distance. 

"Lucy? You got the package?" Johnny asked.

The computer's confusion was audible. "I have received no packages, John. But Dutch is aboard."

"Okay. That's good." Johnny hesitated, before asking, "She doing okay?"

"She appears to be experiencing some emotional distress." Lucy paused again, uncharacteristically floundering. "I have told her that you are both on your way."

When they trudged up the ramp, shaking the frost of Arkyn off their boots, the cargo deck was quiet and empty. So was the cockpit, and Dutch's room. They finally found her sitting underneath the ladder to the upper deck, Ilyse sitting in her lap. The kitten meowed worriedly, as tears streamed down Yalena's face.

Johnny dropped to the floor, sitting down with a soft thump. "You doing okay?" he asked.

Yalena looked up, her eyes stormy and wet. "I didn't want to kill him."

And she hadn't, but D'avin wasn't sure the specifics of that information were going to help right now. From the look on his face, Johnny thought the same. 

"I know you didn't," Johnny said.

"I don't want to kill anybody."

"You shouldn't have to. In a perfect world, you would never have to."

Yalena took a deep breath, sounding as if she was gasping for air, and wiped her eyes. "We don't have a perfect world. My tutor says--he says, never let it be me."

"Your tutor was a jerk," D'avin responded without thinking, and found both Yalena and Johnny looking at him surprise. "But if he's part of the reason you're still here, then. We're both glad you're here, kid."

"I'm not a kid," Yalena answered, and D'avin smiled at her.

"Right. Sorry."

"No, you're not."

"He's never sorry," Johnny told her, in a conspiratorial stage whisper. 

Yalena giggled, then looked down, stroking Ilyse's fur. A familiar frown had returned to her tear-streaked face. "That man. He spoke as if he knew me."

"Yeah," Johnny agreed, cautiously.

"You speak that way to me too. Both of you. Is it really true, what you said? About this being the future?"

"It's true."

"Because my tutor always says--said, he said he'd come for me. Even if I tried to run away. But he's not here, and that man said--" Yalena looked at him, fresh tears welling up. "Is my tutor dead?"

"Yeah. He is," D'avin admitted. Then held Yalena's small hand as she began to cry again, choking back small, lost sobs.

*

Clara's genuine message arrived a week later. They met her on a space station that was just far enough outside the Quad to be safe from Company law. It was a floating city of sorts, buzzing with activity.

Lucy was docked in a berth two decks down, but she hadn't been happy about it. 

"You should have let me bring my gun," D'avin grumbled.

"No guns. Stationmaster's rules." John glanced down at Yalena. "No knives, either."

Yalena shrugged innocently. D'avin kept his gaze on the crowds of people as they moved through. "Never seen so many plastics in one place," he commented, and Yalena and Johnny gave him identical disapproving looks.

"Wouldn't call them that where they could hear you, D'av."

Yalena nodded, but her eyes were wide as she looked around. A man passed by her with two prosthetic eyes, pale purple at the irises and sparking faintly with visible energy. Yalena's hand gripped D'avin's tightly.

*

Clara lived in a small unit at the end of the upper-most deck. Their approach must have been loud enough for bionic ears. Johnny didn't even have to knock.

"Open," a voice said, and then Clara was standing just inside the doorway, smiling her usual mysterious smile. She was wearing her natural-looking arm, the seam exposed beneath short sleeves. 

A grin spread across Johnny's face. He reached out and enveloped her in a tight hug. "Clara. How've you been?"

"Staying out of trouble better than you, it sounds like, Johnny Jaqobis."

The moment stretched on. D'avin cleared his throat. "I hate to ruin the moment, but we've still got a small problem."

"Small being the operative word," Johnny added as he stepped back.

"Whoa." Clara looked impressed. "You weren't kidding. This is a hell of a bio-mod."

"You've seen this before?"

"Who would want this?" D'avin asked, at the same time.

Clara hesitated before answering, glancing at Yalena and then looking away. "Creepers, mostly? It's pretty illegal. That tech you said you found? Someone probably left in a hurry and left it behind. No one wants to get caught with that shit in Quad space."

"Can you fix it?" 

D'avin's attention caught on the note of desperation in Johnny's voice.

They'd never run into a problem Johnny couldn't science their way out of. D'avin had assumed this would be the same, eventually. Hadn't realised that Johnny wasn't as certain.

"I can fix it," Clara said, but she didn't sound as sure as D'avin would have liked either.

He glanced down at Yalena, standing as still as a statue while the conversation about her continued. "Will it hurt? I mean, is it safe?"

"I'm not scared," Yalena interrupted, and Clara smiled at her.

"It's as safe as any other mod. But you already survived the procedure once. So that's a good thing. I'm going to need some time to get everything together. Might need you too, Jaqobis."

Johnny nodded. "You need my technological expertise. Sure."

Clara rolled her eyes, over a soft, fond smile. "And your joy."

There was a current passing between them again, or a secret language that D'avin didn't have the code for. Pretty soon they were going to start speaking science, he guessed, and he didn't want to be around for that shit either.

*

They'd left Johnny behind, talking shop with Clara, and Yalena had scooped Ilyse into her arms the minuted she'd reboarded the ship. Ilyse was purring in satisfaction, as Yalena stroked her fur and stared at D'avin with suspicious eyes.

"Why don't you like Clara? Is she bad?"

"No," D'avin insisted, but Yalena's expression didn't change. "I don't know her, I guess. But Johnny trusts her, so I do too. Johnny's a pretty good judge of character."

Yalena nodded, thinking for a moment. "She called me Dutch. The ship does, too."

"That's your grownup name," D'avin agreed. "You gave it to yourself, I think."

"I thought maybe I did."

"Yeah?" D'avin opened his mouth to ask the question, then closed it again. "That's pretty awesome."

*

Johnny was thoroughly, cheerfully drunk when he got back to the ship. His face was flushed, and his body tilted and swayed as he entered Lucy's docking berth and climbed the gangway.

"D'av!" His face broke open into a bright, happy smile. "Guess what? We're going to fix Dutch."

"Yeah? Maybe go easy on the hokk next time, buddy."

Johnny shook his head, . "Not hokk. They make a synthetic drink aboard the station. Gets you way drunker than hokk. I mean--way drunker. Waaaay."

"I got it."

"You've gotta try it. We'll go tomorrow. Clara--" Johnny began, and hesitated, confused words tripping over his inebriated tongue. "Clara says--about little Dutch. And turning her into big Dutch. Well, she was wondering if you'd asked her. If that was really what she wanted."

"No. I was hoping maybe you'd take point on that one," D'avin admitted.

Johnny sighed. "Yeah. Okay."

*

In the end, they broke the news to Yalena together. She sat on the couch in Lucy's common area, nervously holding Ilyse in her lap. As if sensing her mistress' uncertainty, Ilyse remained perfectly still, watching them closely. 

"So I wouldn't get to be grown-up?" Yalena asked, at the end of their speech.

"Well, you would," Johnny pointed out. "Just quite a lot slower, this way."

She considered this. "Would I still get to stay with the two of you?"

D'avin fielded that one. "I, uh. Don't think that would work so well? Our lives are pretty weird."

"We'd find someone nice for you to stay with," Johnny added. "Normal. You could go to school? Make friends who don't carry guns for a living."

Yalena's face screwed up into a stubborn pout, an eerie reflection of an adult Dutch when she had made up her mind. Even at this young age, D'avin wondered if normal had meant anything to her at all. 

"I want to be grown up again," she said firmly. "So I can stay here, with you."

*

The Scarbacks believed in redemption. Eternal forgiveness that would wipe all of your debts clean. D'avin was pretty sure everything the Scarbacks' faith was built on was bullshit. There were no real do-overs, but D'avin believed in second chances. Had to. He'd lived through enough of them, including the ones he probably hadn't deserved.

Sometimes the hardest person to forgive was yourself. No one knew that better than Dutch. When this was all said and done, D'avin just hoped that they hadn't let her down.

*

Johnny was driving him crazy. He'd been pacing circles around the hold for hours, ignoring all of Lucy's gentle attempts to distract him.

"It'll be fine. Clara knows what she's doing," D'avin said, then frowned. "She does know what she's doing, right?"

"Of course."

"I figured, since you two stuck together for so long. You wouldn't hang out with someone stupid, right?"

"I hang out with you, asshole," Johnny pointed out, and D'avin grinned.

"You think Dutch'll remember anything?"

"Like all the times you called her Small Fry?" Johnny asked him. "I sure hope so."

"Hey. I wasn't the only one."

Lucy pinged a soft alarm. "I have received a message from Clara. It is done."

*

He shouldn't have been so nervous, watching Dutch walk onboard Lucy. She'd done it a million times before. From the way that Dutch hesitated, maybe she was nervous too.

She walked up to Johnny, held open her arms, and pulled him into an embrace. "Hey, John," she said, and her voice was soft.

"Hey, Dutch," Johnny mumbled into her shoulder. He was clinging, as if he was afraid to let go. "It's good to see you."

D'avin hovered anxiously a few paces away.

"Ilyse missed you," he said. That earned him an eyeroll, tempered with a smile. Dutch let Johnny go, and aimed a playful punch at D'avin's shoulder, before drawing him for a hug.

From the floor, Ilyse meowed at the sound of her name. She stared at Dutch with sharp eyes, and then began to turn herself in lazy loops between Dutch's feet.

*fin.

**Author's Note:**

> Obligatory social media links, if you don't already know: I'm on [tumblr](http://sweeter-than.tumblr.com/) and [dreamwidth](http://dirty_diana.dreamwidth.org/).


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